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First Time Smoking Pot

Repost from old blog, 3/20/08I was 16? 17? It was late fall and I was in my junior year of high school. My older brother, who I was close with at the time, had been smoking weed forever, and I’d been curious to try it. One weekend he arranged to get me high. After school on Friday I borrowed my parents’s car and drove into the city. He attended college there and lived in a cruddy little off-campus apartment with his roommate Chris.

He’d purchased some high-quality pot, beautiful green-white buds that he stored in a jar in the cupboard for my arrival. Also he’d bought some papers soaked in hash oil, but those came later.

The three of us – me, my brother, and Chris – piled into the bathroom and took hits out of a bowl, I think. I coughed a lot, to where I actually thought I was going to puke.

Afterwards we were standing in the kitchen; Chris was talking and I noticed things getting weird. Time seemed drawn out.

Chris had to pick up his girlfriend at the airport, so we all got into my parents’s car and drove there. I sat in the back. My jaw felt like it was opening on its own, some muscle memory opening my mouth, and I kept having to close it. I articulated this to them; Chris said he knew what I meant. We got to the airport and I went inside with Chris. I’d never been inside the Pittsburgh airport and it kind of blew my mind. It looked so futuristic and modern.

After this my memory is hazy. We went back to their apartment. My brother and I watched “A Thief in the Night” and smoked the hash-oil joints. I remember moments of the film sticking out at me like the most absurd and hilarious things I’d ever seen. We would rewind it and watch it over again and laugh our asses off. Then the movie was over, and it was like I hadn’t even seen it. Time was all fucked up. I didn’t want to smoke anymore. I wanted to be normal again.

Weed was never very good to me.

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Movie Review: Alice in Wonderland (2010)

What a piece of shit.  Is there anything more excruciating than the third act of a bad action movie?  Where you know exactly what’s going to happen, and who is going to win in the end, yet have to sit through an endless battle sequence anyway?

How it pains me to refer to action movies when discussing a film based on Alice in Wonderland, for christ’s sake,  a story that is meandering and exploratory – and not action oriented –  in a most pleasurable and singular way.  But this is a 2010 Disney movie and so we must have action,  a villain with a scarred face, and a lame female empowerment message to wrap it all up.  I’d rather not even mention the fact that it was directed by Tim Burton who used to make good movies, I think?  Not that this one didn’t have its redeeming qualities, but sometimes you have to take a stand.

There’s lots to hate here.  Dreary, cluttered CGI landscapes.  A pummeling music score so intent on enforcing a feeling of WONDER and AMAZEMENT that it never abates for more than a second or two.  Unattractive characters that don’t inspire even a passing interest.  Anne Hathaway embarrassing herself.

About an hour in my nine-year-old charge turned to me and said, “They’re stealing everything from other movies.”  She still liked it, but the path to cynicism is slow and sure.

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Backwoods Update

Rebel Satori Press/Queer Mojo posted my bio information on their website. Exciting! I finally signed and sent off my contract for Backwoods this past week. Word on the street is that Michael will be finished with the illustrations by July. Whenever I stop to really consider that I managed to do this, I manage to blow my own mind.

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Book Fetishism

I mentioned my latent book fetish to some friends today and it made think of the fairly brilliant credit sequence for the movie Gentlemen Broncos.

Gentlemen Broncos Titles from Reuben Armstrong on Vimeo.


Note: I have not seen this movie, nor have ever seen a Jared/Jerusha Hess movie, nor do I ever want to. I know this is a purely speculative position, but I’ve read many reviews of their films and feel almost certain that I would hate – not merely dislike, but HATE – them. I could be wrong. Probably not.

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New Story Alert!

I’ve got a new story up on Butt Magazine’s blog.

I used to write a lot more about my true-life escapades (back when I was a youngster and had a lot of true-life escapades) and I’d share that stuff now if it wasn’t so embarrassing to me (both for the dumb and dangerous things I did and for the fact that my writing was pretty weak). Maybe in ten years. Anyway, this was a story I had sitting around for whatever reason and yeah, it’s all true, except I’m pretty sure the whole “sniper” thing was more boast than fact.

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