Movie Review: Alice in Wonderland (2010)

What a piece of shit.  Is there anything more excruciating than the third act of a bad action movie?  Where you know exactly what’s going to happen, and who is going to win in the end, yet have to sit through an endless battle sequence anyway?

How it pains me to refer to action movies when discussing a film based on Alice in Wonderland, for christ’s sake,  a story that is meandering and exploratory – and not action oriented –  in a most pleasurable and singular way.  But this is a 2010 Disney movie and so we must have action,  a villain with a scarred face, and a lame female empowerment message to wrap it all up.  I’d rather not even mention the fact that it was directed by Tim Burton who used to make good movies, I think?  Not that this one didn’t have its redeeming qualities, but sometimes you have to take a stand.

There’s lots to hate here.  Dreary, cluttered CGI landscapes.  A pummeling music score so intent on enforcing a feeling of WONDER and AMAZEMENT that it never abates for more than a second or two.  Unattractive characters that don’t inspire even a passing interest.  Anne Hathaway embarrassing herself.

About an hour in my nine-year-old charge turned to me and said, “They’re stealing everything from other movies.”  She still liked it, but the path to cynicism is slow and sure.