My Boyfriend’s Horny Brothers
By Natty Soltesz
When I was just out of college I went on a trip with Joe, my boyfriend at the time, to the mid-sized Illinois city where he grew up. Most of his family still lived there including his brothers Mike and Lee who, on our first night staying at Joe’s parents’ house, came over for dinner.
His brothers were a total trip – loud and funny, constantly cracking jokes at everyone’s expense, but so charming and good looking that you just didn’t care.
Both of them were confirmed bachelors and they shared an apartment together a few miles out of town, which I gathered was something of a love den. Joe said even in high school his brothers were always fucking the same girls, trading them back and forth like baseball cards.
“How was the trip down?” Joe’s mom asked me as I forked up some mashed potatoes.
“Not bad at all,” I said.
“That’s a long one,” Lee said. He was a couple years older than Joe and was pretty husky, but it worked on him. He had sandy blond hair and a blond beard and dimples when he smiled, like a sexy teddy bear. “But I guess the great thing about being gay is you could always just pull off at a rest stop.”
“Meet a nice trucker…” Mike added. Mike was the oldest and, at first glance, the most strikingly hot. He had black hair like Joe and blue eyes, and was very tall with a killer body. His hairline was receding a bit but it only made him cuter.
“Shut up,” Joe said.
“I don’t know what you guys are talking about,” Joe’s mom said, and got up to get dessert.
“So Nate,” Mike said, turning to me, “You guys are sleeping in separate beds. Did you know that? Siriani house policy – can’t get laid under this roof.”
“Goddammit, Michael,” Joe’s dad said.
“Dad, I’m just saying, our apartment is available if you guys need to, you know, have a little time to yourselves…”
“That’s enough,” Joe’s dad said.
“Yeah, for Christ’s sake guys,” Joe said.
“We’re just putting it out there,” Lee added.
“It’s very kind of you but I just figured we’d hit up the truck stop a little later,” I said. Joe and his dad looked at me, shocked, but Lee and Mike just up and lost it.
After dinner I was sitting on the porch with Joe and his brothers, drinking the beer they’d brought. It was Friday night and Lee and Mike were talking about going out.
Joe didn’t drink at the time and I could tell he was getting annoyed with me. My relationship with Joe had been deteriorating for months up that point. I was as exhausted by his judgmental, controlling ways as he was by my childish, irresponsible ones.
“Hey Joe, why the long face? Who jizzed in your pudding?” Lee said.
“You gonna let your boyfriend go out with us, or what?” Mike said.
“He can do what he wants,” Joe said, delivering a pithy look in my general direction.
“Yikes,” Mike said.
“Lighten up, Joe. Jesus. Let him have some fun. Just cause you shit the bed doesn’t mean he has to lay in it.” I took another gulp of beer. The ride from New York had been excruciating – we hadn’t talked to each other almost the entire way. Now I was getting a buzz on and enjoying the company of Joe’s cute, fun brothers, and I just did not give a fuck.
“I’ll go out with you guys,” I said, shrugging.
“Right on,” Mike said, reaching over. I gave him a high five. Joe got up and went inside without a word.
“I think we got you in hot shit,” Lee said.
“I think I already was,” I said. Mike slapped my back.
“C’mon gay boy, let’s go have some fun.”
