And presenting the lost love of my life: Rim Guy8 Comments
It began. The shaking that always hits when I’m most afraid. And at the same time my stomach began the warm-up for the blew magoo.
“He’s gonna blow!” Hedley cried out triumphantly.
My guts began to do the wiggle. My throat began the gack dance. It was five seconds to launch. Four…three…
“Hugghgh huhhgh huhhgh-” I began.
“He can’t stop it now!” Hedley yelled joyously.
He was right. Two…one…
I blew chunks. I magooed. I showed everyone my breakfast. “Huhhghg b-b-bub-bleeeeeaaaaah!“
The barf poured from my mouth like Niagara Falls.
It shot out, then dribbled down my face. Into my hair. Into my nose. I was temporarily blinded by half-digested oatmeal.
“Now let him go!” Hedley cried gleefully.
Hands released my ankles. Gravity took over.
Down I fell into the toilet. Into a soup of steaming barf and reeking brown substance. The sound of my own cries echoed in the toilet bowl.
– From Barf-O-Rama: The Legend of Bigfart by Pat Pollari
Katherine Alice Applegate writes books for kids. In fact, K.A. Applegate writes a fuckload of books for kids – writes them as if it were a compulsion, or perhaps an obsession.0 Comments