Well, I lost again. I hadn’t intended on going to the Lambda Awards this year but at the last minute I got this idea for an acceptance speech so I made the trip happen on a whirlwind tour through NYC. I had a fun time putting together my look for the ceremony but I didn’t get to make my speech, which is a shame. As was the case with the last time I attended the awards, neither of the winning authors in the gay & lesbian erotica categories showed up to accept them. I’m like C’mon, Lambda: not only did I look fabulous, I had good things to say. I wanted to acknowledge the particular ability of porn writers, which is to make people cum through words. It’s a power I’m awfully proud of and which I take quite seriously. But it’s back to life, back to reality, and I’m glad about that. Awards are cute and all (even cuter when you win, I’d expect) but just doing the work is the real goal and its own reward.
I’ll be selling books and zines and other undefinable things at the Rainbow Book Fair this Saturday! I’ll be tabling with the fabulous writer and fellow Go Deeper Press author Dario Dalla Lasta. I love this event, it’s always a good time so if you’re in the New York City area come out and say HAYYY.
Natty Soltesz, incomparable author of hot ‘n porny gay erotic fiction including the 2016 Lambda Literary Award nominated story collection College Dive Bar, 1 AM, presents two stories of sexual service:
Taking it for the Team: Coach will do whatever it takes to keep his team’s heads in the game. Including giving them head.
A Stepfather’s Responsibility: When life’s pressures bear down, where’s a young man to turn for some relief? No one ever said raising a stepson was easy…
Because I’m living in a place that’s not well connected, internet-ally-speaking, it’s hard for me to get the word out as good as I can about this one. But I think the stories are both pretty good and I hope you’ll be willing to plunk down five bucks to check it out. The unfortunate thing is one of them is an incest story, but to satisfy the market I’ve had to change that to a “stepfather” story. I hope to get a non-censored version of that story out in the world sometime soon.
Okay, so, about two weeks ago I rehomed my cats, moved out of my apartment, quit my job and moved to a community in rural Tennessee. That’s a lot! To compound things, this community has no internet access and spotty cell service (no data connection). So. I am on some type of journey, which doesn’t involve a lot of connection to the outside world. But I will do my best to update things and share things as I can.
How many pizza guy stories have I written? Maybe only this one? I honestly don’t have a clue, but it seems like I should have written at least a few by this point in my life. At any rate, check out Meat Lovers, which was originally published in the Bruno Gmunder anthology Hired Hands.
I think the word that ties the following four movies together is “insidious.” (Incidentally, there was an “Insidious 3” that came out this year, but I didn’t see it (the first one sucked)). They get under your skin and feel like they could be, in time, deemed cult classics if not outright classics.
‘The Nightmare‘ – Seriously, fuck this movie. It has changed my life in negative ways. The whole reason I’m writing this list, on January 7, 2016, is because I had my first legitimate experience with sleep paralysis last night. The reason I had that experience is I couldn’t sleep, and I started thinking about this fucking movie. I willed it to happen. The whole movie is about the fact that it can will horrible nightmares into existence, and for that it has my utmost respect.
‘Crimson Peak‘ – Severely underrated and will get its due as a classic, in time (he says with authority). I saw this on an IMAX screen and man, what texture, what costumes, what color! Watched it a second time on a TV and the story held up – I really don’t understand the criticism saying the narrative is frayed or all over the place. I think it’s gripping and airtight. Also a lot of fun and most of all, fucking gorgeous.
‘Inside Out‘ – Will this movie influence the way an entire generation perceive themselves? That’d be pretty crazy. It definitely rearranged my brain for at least the couple of days after I saw it.
‘It Follows‘ – Saw this one twice and could not get it out of my head. Loved the dreaminess of it more than anything, the out-of-time, out-of-place retro styling. Great score. Just an altogether original movie with a premise that didn’t make any sense to me when I read about it. It hits on a specific, post 9/11 type of anxiety: that no matter how much you relax and tell yourself that everything’s fine, there’s always something new and horrible coming around the corner.
Honorable mention: ‘Marfa Girl‘ – I’ve written about this one before. I’m a little iffy about putting it on the same tier as the previous four movies, but I want to give it some love cause it’s underrated, batshit insane, and totally worth watching.
Dug em: ‘Amy’, ‘The Martian’, ‘Clouds of Sils Maria’, ‘What Happened, Miss Simone?’, ‘Welcome to Me’, ‘Magic Mike XXL’, ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’, ‘Mad Max: Fury Road’, ‘Nasty Baby’, ‘Iris’
Haven’t seen but my camp-value hopes are high: ‘By the Sea’, ‘We Are Your Friends’, ‘Jem and the Holograms’, ‘Stonewall’
Want to see: ‘Carol’, ‘Spotlight’, ‘Anomalisa’, ‘The Diary of a Teenage Girl’, ‘The Duke of Burgundy’, ‘The Forbidden Room’, ‘Ex Machina’, ‘The Gift’, ‘Maps to the Stars’, ‘The Visit’, ‘Love’
Hopelessly cynical sentence I refrained from tweeting about ‘Star Wars’ on its opening weekend: “Enjoy your market-tested and approved movie-product, nostalgia whores.”
A couple of weeks ago I started writing what was supposed to be a quick n dirty scenario caption to BR0B8, my porn caption Tumblr. It was this muscle-guy condom-to-bareback fantasy, and it wound up turning me on so much I swear I jerked off twice before I finished writing it. I can’t remember the last time I jerked off to one of my own stories.
And so I feel I must fess up to the fact that I am really feeling the condom-to-bareback thing lately. I’ve written about this before in the context of “stealthing” videos, where the fantasy is that the bottom doesn’t know that the top is slipping off the condom. That’s way too non-consensual to interest me in writing about it (agreements turn me on more than anything), but I have to say, the idea of two guys who try to fuck safe but can’t resist going bare is doing it for me in a way that few fantasies have in the past couple years.
All of this is because of Truvada and PrEP, which has, for me, made entertaining these types of fantasies possible. Of course I know that barebacking carries the risk of transmitting all kinds of other diseases, but none of those are a life sentence. I’m not really interested in debating the ethics of barebacking anyway. I’m just fascinated by the way my own fantasy life can turn on a dime. I can’t say that I was ever really turned on by the whole barebacking thing before. It’s funny – I think I gravitate toward taboos that aren’t quite taboo anymore, that are maybe on their way to becoming mainstream.
The thing is, it’s really difficult to find condom-to-bareback stories or videos. They are kind of scarce. Maybe that’s just because it’s an esoteric fantasy and it always will be. But that Tumblr post I mentioned earlier has gotten more traction than any other stories I’ve posted on Tumblr, which I think says something. So today I wrote another one. Which is almost exactly the same as the other, but oh well. At least I’m having fun.