“I love you,” I said, and I’d never meant it less.
I thought that was pretty good. I journaled, too – I’ve been doing that in a spiral-bound notebook, which is a switch from my typical composition book journal, but it’s allowed me to stretch out a bit and try some different things, cause my journaling can get stagnant.
I’ve been very slowly reading Stars in my Pocket Like Grains of Sand by Samuel Delany. I got really into it at one point, and suddenly the curtains collapsed on the world he’d created and I realized I’d only been reading the prologue. And now I’m having some trouble following it but I’m still committed because the thing about Delany is, even when you don’t know what’s going on it’s still interesting.
At any rate, I didn’t read any of it today, and I probably won’t, but I want to dip into it this weekend. I watched RuPaul’s Drag Race. I’m so bummed Valentina got voted off. I’ll be less interested in watching that show, now.
Today: nothing. Except this (which I’ll presumably finish), and some emails at work. I work full-time now. It’s a real bummer in some non-financial ways, but having a tight schedule has been good for my writing practice. I want to get back into the habit of putting stuff online, and one idea is to post a bit about what I write each day.
Lately I’ve been writing five days a week. But there are periods when I’m writing all the time, or a few times weekly, or not at all. I journal (longhand) more than I write fiction, and prefer to work in a coffee shop rather than at home.
Currently I’m working on what I conceived as my incest opus – the first draft of a novel about a sexually precocious young man who falls in love with his father. I wrote most of it a year and a half ago and it always needed an ending, so I’m finally writing that. I have other projects on the back burner, like a story about work buddies finding a “fag” to rim them, and a novella based on an older story of mine that I swear I will finish one of these days.
I suppose I’m trying to hold myself accountable for the amount of work that I do by sharing it online, and hopefully engaging some people with the process. I don’t share as much as I used to online. I’m afraid of the internet. Social media helped elect Trump and continues to give a voice to him and other radical/nationalist factions that are out for blood. Perhaps we should consider deleting all of our social media accounts.
This is Greg Brady’s attic bedroom. I think about it all the time.
Hey there. I just posted a new story, an excerpt from my 2017 novel My Sister’s Boyfriend. It’s called Once Friends and it’s about former high school buddies who meet up and reminisce about the good-ole-dick-sucking-days.Hope you like it.
I’ve been laying pretty low I suppose but still working on things.
Yesterday: driving around Pittsburgh, seeing digital billboards projecting the Star of David with the word “Unite.” I saw it and I instantly felt better. Maybe people will unite, I thought. Maybe something good will come out of this. That feeling quickly collapsed into meaninglessness. A media company slogan. No action attached to it. No nothing.
I call a close relative. She saw that there was a vigil for the victims of the synagogue shooting. “What’s a vigil going to do?” she says. “Another shooting. People say the same things. Nothing changes.”
I hang out with my friend. She was on the bus earlier, heading home from work. A black man got on, clearly drunk and disoriented. Not harassing anybody. Two white women took it upon themselves to change the situation. Threatened to call the cops on him. Found a bottle of booze in his bag and dangled it in front of him to lure him off. “They were so proud of themselves,” my friend says, angry and exasperated. “What the fuck is wrong with people?”
I read the list of victims and wasn’t surprised to note one familiar name. Pittsburgh feels like a small town, especially when you’ve lived here a while. Dr. Jerry Rabinowitz. I didn’t know him, but I worked for nine years in HIV research and he treated many of our clients. There are just a few doctors in Pittsburgh who are known to be good with HIV-positive people. He was one of the few, and a seemingly well-loved one. Did he deserve to die like that? I know it’s a cliche. Nobody deserves to die.
Trump is in Pittsburgh as I write this. Surreal is not the word. Gaslighting is. Nothing means anything. Actions have no consequences. Reality is whatever you want it to be.
I live in a country built on genocide and denial. I come from a race of people who’ve covered this beautiful earth like a plague and turned it to shit.
I’ve been collaging a lot lately (see image above!) and posting my stuff pretty much exclusively on Instagram. So if you don’t follow me on there already, maybe you want to? I don’t know. Is anybody even reading this? I post a lot of other stuff on there that is probably way too personal to share, but here we are in 2018, conditioned to embrace the fact that privacy is a relic.
I’ll be at the Pittsburgh Zine Fair Sunday October 14th, selling my books, collages and other stuff. Come say hay!
In other news, I’ve been pretty busy with some new jobs but still (always) finding time to write. I have a novella and a novel in the pipeline – I’m most excited about the novel, and I hope to have a second draft of that done by next spring. I feel like that’s a long time but honestly, novel writing is a fucking undertaking! Every time I think of my manuscript, with its numerous detours, loose ends and messy passages I just get overwhelmed. It’s a lot to keep in the ole brain box all at once. But I have a goal, and I feel good about that.
p.s. – I don’t know why the link to comments aren’t showing up on my posts; it’s a weird little bug that I haven’t had time to try and fix. But comments are open, you just have to click on the post title to get to the form.
Hey there. I just posted a new story, “A Father’s Responsibility,” from my 2016 ebook Service-Oriented. It’s a pretty hot incest fantasy, partially based on some of the Jodi West videos I’ve been enjoying over the last couple years. If you haven’t heard of Jodi West, she’s a porn performer who does these brilliant little straight incest scenes – highly recommended.
Anyway, I hope you dig the story. And if you haven’t already, check out my newest ebook Daddy’s Home!, which features three stories of incestuous debauchery and is available right here on this website for five bucks.
Looks like I’ll be writing a novella based on My Boyfriend’s Horny Brothers. Well, in fact, I’ve already started it. Very curious to see how it’s going to turn out. It’ll be fun to revisit that story and flesh it out a bit.
Thanks for voting in my poll and thanks, also, to those who downloaded my ebook Daddy’s Home – particularly those who threw extra money my way when I did it as a pay-what-you-want download. I’m happy with how that went and I think I’ll be selling more ebooks directly on here in the future.
A lil’ life update: I just got back from a long camping trip. I’m in a period of transition right now: not writing as much as I’d like to be, but I’m starting to find my groove.
Above is a gratuitous pic of me in my underwear. Buy my ebook. 🙂
I hope you’ve had a chance to download my new ebook Daddy’s Home! Just a reminder – you can pay whatever you want for it through Friday (that means it’s free, or you have the opportunity to throw some extra bones my way if you’re feeling generous).
Now that that’s out I want to write something new! Often the best motivation for me is to start with something old. And so: The Story-to-Novella Poll! I picked four of the most-read stories on this site. Once the poll closes on Saturday morning I’ll take the story that got the most votes and start expanding it into a novella. Please vote!
By the way, did you know I’m open to writing story sequels or doing other commissioned work for money? So if the story you picked doesn’t win, or if you have another story you’d like me to expand upon, drop me a line via my contact page. Thanks!