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The Alternative Fucks Blog Tour

Hey there! So me and some of the other authors from the recent erotica anthology Alternative Fucks (out now! all proceeds go to the ACLU! an original story by me about fucking your ex!) are doing this blog tour where we answer the five same questions. Here’s mine, and you can find links to the others below.

I don’t have access to any of my high school pics at the moment, so here’s one of me in college looking really stoned.

1. What group did you hang out with in high school?
I had a couple of good girlfriends. I wasn’t out in high school. I was friendly with a lot of people but things changed around my sophomore year, when more people started fucking and it became clear that something with me was…off. People didn’t know if I was gay or just weird. Joke’s on them – I’m both! I got voted “Most Original” in the yearbook.

2. What is the dirtiest story you’ve ever read?
I’m more than two-thirds of the way through the dirtiest story I’ve ever read, and it’s Hogg by Samuel R. Delaney. I read his memoir The Motion of Light in Water this fall and it blew my mind; I felt like I met a new friend. Hogg is his book of erotica, and it’s a doozy. Starts out gross and just gets grosser, but I’m buying every moment and dreading where it goes next.

3. What is your favorite movie and why?

I have way too many favorite movies for this question. I’ve used Thelma & Louise as one of my certified tearjerkers since I was a teen and it keeps affecting me in ever-more-entrancing ways. I love trash, of course, and I get these wonderfully terrible songs from the mostly-crappy movie The Apple stuck in my head lately. I saw Get Out last night which made me cry, laugh and cringe.

4. What is right by your side while you are writing?
A glass of water. Headphones in my ears, music in those. Sometimes coffee. My phone if I’m being half-assed about things.

5. Describe your dream vacation.
Robbing a bunch of stores and driving into the Grand Canyon. Just kidding. I guess I want to get out of this country – I’ve never been anywhere but the northern half of this continent. Seems like a good time to do it, too.

Check out my fellow authors’ responses!

Lana Fox

Dario Dalla Lasta

Oleander Plume

Malin James

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New Anthology Alert!

 

AltF_Cover400_1024x1024I contributed a new story, “Ex Sex” to Alternative Fucks from Go Deeper Press, out today. All proceeds go to the ACLU. It’s about fucking your ex, and that feeling you get when you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.

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New Story Alert!

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Heya there. New porno story! This one’s called Cooked, and it was originally published in the Bruno Gmunder anthology Slave Boys. It’s about a sweet, straight cook at a restaurant who turns out to be neither sweet nor straight.

How’s everyone’s life now that the world feels like it’s falling apart? Not that it didn’t feel that way four months ago, but jesus christ. I’m meditating everyday to keep my anxiety at bay, and I’m not letting anything steal my joy. Maybe there’s something to be said for dancing while the ship goes down – fun in the end times, no? But more than anything I want to remain vigilant. I haven’t been able to read a lot of news stories, but this one has stuck with me. I write this as a talisman: I will not carry out inhumane acts for this inhumane regime. I will solidly remain in the camp of People Who Give a Shit About One Another.

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About How You’d Expect

rainbow-circle-2The community I live in has this regular thing where we sit in a circle, pass around an object of some kind, and share what we’re feeling. Whoever holds the object talks and everyone else listens. Cross-talk – responding directly to what another in the circle has said – is discouraged.

This ritual is immensely important to me, because it’s a place where people can share their lives and emotions and not fear judgement. It’s one of the reasons I moved to this community – the only place I found it before was at AA meetings I attended with my ex-boyfriend (and it’s really not right to attend those meetings unless you have an addiction problem).

I’m of the opinion that humanity could use more of this kind of thing. Instead, we get Facebook. Social media sites where the only option is to engage in a dialogue. I’m realizing that a large part of the reason that I avoid social media sites is because of the fear of judgement. People shouldn’t have to defend their views all the time. People deserve to be heard and not be criticized or commented upon. I wonder how many voices Facebook actually silences?

I don’t really know what to say about the outcome of the election. I was shocked, and now that emotion is settling into a familiar stew of anger, fear, apathy and fear of my own apathy. I barely want to say anything for fear of it bouncing around the internet echo chamber. But for what’s it’s worth: fuck misogyny, fuck xenophobia, black lives matter, and viva rampant faggotry. I love and care about you.

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New Story Alert!

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I just posted a new story – Reunited, originally published in the Bruno Gmunder anthology Whipping Boys. This one’s about the class homo getting his revenge on a bully. It’s one in a batch of vaguely S&M-themed stories I wrote for Bruno Gmunder back in 2014.

I know I haven’t posted in a while. I feel really cut off from online life which is both good and bad. I’m working steadily on a large-ish writing project lately and I don’t know when it will see the light of day. Mostly I’m at this really transitional stage in my life and I’m trying to just exist in it and not get too worried about the future. I don’t feel as excited about writing erotica as I used to. Maybe because it feels like there are so few outlets for it. Maybe I’m just cut off. But the anthologies have all but died out – pretty much the only money-making thing I can see is ebooks, which I still do, but publishing them feels a bit like shunting stories off into the void. I know that people read them, but they’re so solitary or something.

Am I complaining? I’m not in the best mood, writing this. I am listening to Angel Olsen’s new album which is so good. I hardly know what to say when I try to write things online. I never post on Facebook anymore. It feels weird to be cut off from that world because the internet is where I got my start, writing. Now it’s like I’m only writing for myself.

</vaguelydepressedramble>

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New Pseudonym Alert!

waitress I just put out an ebook called Waitress Takes More than the Tip and it marks a couple of firsts for me: it’s my first ebook under a pseudonym (“N.J. LaHoise” – it’s no “Richard Bachman”, I know, but then again I’m no Stephen King) and it’s my first ebook of hetero erotica.

Except it’s not entirely hetero. It’s three stories by three different narrators that comprise a loose arc. I submitted the first story to Penthouse Variations back in November. I was so determined to get into Penthouse Variations! It was one of the first porno mags I’d ever seen, back when I was eleven and somebody showed me a stack of porno mags under a pile of tar paper in the train yard. According to their call for submissions you couldn’t email your story, you had to print out a manuscript and mail it in, which was so cute. And they paid $400 a story! There are hardly any porno mags still publishing erotic fiction these days, let alone ones that pay for it.

It was all so charmingly old-fashioned. So maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised when I didn’t receive a reply, then looked at their website and noticed that their most recent issue had come out three months ago. Apparently Penthouse Variations is dead, but weirdly enough there doesn’t seem to be any notice of this on the internet. Maybe magazines are dying off so quickly that it isn’t even a story anymore. I was so pissed, though! I missed the boat by three months.

I wondered what to do with that story and then I got this idea for a story collection that would be like a daisy chain: so two people would fuck in the first story, and in the next one a character from the first story would fuck somebody else, then that person would narrate the next story and so on. It would create this whole community through stories that would maybe intersect and get messy with intrigue and relationships.

That’s what I wound up doing but I only went three stories into it. The first one is about two friends cheating on their significant others, and it’s a hetero story featuring the oh-so-taboo (in some sectors of the hetero world, anyway – Penthouse Variations called for this type of content) subject of anal sex. The next story is about a lesbian encounter. The third story is about a guy finding out he’s been cheated on, and he winds up getting fucked up the ass with a strap-on.

It was all very fun to write but I have no idea how to market it. So here it is. I hope people will be interested enough to check it out cause I think it could be a fun read even if it’s not your particular cup of tea. Please ignore the el cheapo cover art, which literally took me ten minutes to Photoshop.

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Life Update

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Heya. Not a ton to report. Life continues apace at the commune. I recently completed a painting project (see above) and I love this one maybe more than any of the others I’ve done. I worked on a newsletter and I just released an ebook of straight erotica under a pseudonym (more on that once it actually uploads). I’m in Pittsburgh for the week, and it’s raining.

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New Story Alert!

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I just posted a new story: Office Politics. Give it a read and consider purchasing my recently-released ebook “Buddy”, which features two brand-new stories including one about fucking your dad’s best friend.

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New Ebook Alert!

buddyI put together an ebook with two brand-new stories. It’s called “Buddy” and it’s out now.

It’s a guy thing: two buddies, helping each other out. Nobody has to know… Natty Soltesz, incomparable author of hot ‘n porny gay erotic fiction including the 2016 Lambda Literary Award nominated story collection College Dive Bar, 1 AM, presents three stories of buds bein buds:

Living the Dream: Fuck as much as you want, as long as you want, as many times as you want: that’s the dream, and only a good buddy can make it real.

Best Buddies: Two old buddies learn that marriage can’t kill a solid friendship, and hot sex can only make it stronger.

Waylaid: A young man on his way to college gets stuck in his hometown for the summer, but his dad’s best friend makes it worth his while.

Buy it on Amazon!

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