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God Bless Ebert
I have neglected poor little Nuts, Zoe’s Boston terrier. Nuts follows her everywhere, and whenever he gets a closeup, he barks appropriately, as if he understands what is said. When was the last time in a movie where somebody said something, and there was a cut to a dog who barked, and you thought, “That’s so funny!”
Ebert: The Back-up Plan
0 CommentsThe Railroad Yard
Repost from old blog, 2/18/2008
At age ten I encounter my first porno magazine. I’ve been riding bikes with John M—, a fellow paperboy. He’s a year younger than me, kind of a runt. He’s not really a friend.
“Didja ever see a Playboy?” he asks, and I say no. We bike to the railroad yard, to a section of abandoned track. John leads me around a rusty coal car. There in the tall weeds is a pile of tar paper.
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Three Days
It’s been three days. Tonight I reached my Kickstarter goal thanks to YOU. In conclusion: Holy Fucking Shit.
It’s a brave new world out there for artists on the internet. Shit’s real, yo.
6 CommentsMy Internet Debut
Here’s another view of my Kickstarter video. My backers have brought me more than halfway toward my goal after only a few days. How crazy is that? I’m burbling over with gratitude.
Depression in Book Form
Repost from old blog, 9/29/2007
A few years ago, during one of my frequent identity crises as a writer, I somehow got the idea that I would be good at writing greeting cards. So I decided to purchase a book about freelance writing for greeting card companies. That book was called…Freelance Writing for Greeting Card Companies, by Patrisha Stauss. The crisis must have passed in the time it took Amazon to ship the book; just tonight I perused it for the first time. (more…)
Five Great Porn Scenes
Repost from old blog, 12/7/2006
Because I write porno fiction it should come as no surprise that, regarding porno movies, I value story and scene over anything else. I need believable characters – strong archetypes. I need creative dialogue – no matter how cheesy. Most of all, I need a hot situation, something I can sink my teeth into.
The perfect porno scene is a rare thing, but finding a truly great one can make hours of half-hearted wanking seem worthwhile. Without further ado, here are my all-time favorite porno scenes:
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5) Big Guns (1987), d. William Higgins
Scene w/ Mike Henson, Mike Ryan, and Jeff Boote
Three straight dudes get a hotel room, strip down to their extremely brief white briefs, and get into the hot tub; all the while talking about bringing back “babes” to fuck and ribbing each other in a playful, natural way. They get out of the tub, where Boote finds a package of “Fundies” (which are these, not these) in Henson’s suitcase. Boote dares the others to try them on, and they do, which leads to some horseplay. “Be careful, you’ll rip my Fundies, my girlfriend’ll get pissed.” “Fuck your girlfriend!” They wrestle around on the bed until their cocks get hard. The sex progresses in a natural, unforced way, and soon they’re all fucking and sucking each other. All three of the guys are pretty hot, and the way the scene becomes sexual free-for-all (all three guys bottom) is part of what makes it so great.
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Ebert & Meyer & The Sex Pistols
Really a priceless account from Roger Ebert of the aborted creation of “Who Killed Bambi?”