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Coming Soon

I have a little file on my computer where I keep a list of stories I’ve written but haven’t released. The other day I decided to update this list. I started going through my hard drive, with an eye on stories that are complete, edited, but for whatever reason I didn’t think were “good enough” for public consumption. By the time I was done the list had doubled in size.

So in the next week or so I’m going to release the first of two self-published/produced ebooks of stories from the depths of my hard drive, Straight(ish) Vol 1 (followed by Straight(ish) Vol 2, of course). Reading through these old stories reminds me that, oftentimes, work that I initially discount winds up seeming pretty good in retrospect. At the very least, the stories in these two volumes are representative of my work and where I was when I wrote them. Here’s an excerpt from the first story in Vol 1, “Playdate.”

Naptime. The girls were asleep downstairs. Allen and I, in a lazy state from a feast of chicken nuggets and french fries (the girls’ choice), were sprawled out next to each other on the couch, yawning and gazing at the TV.

Just another rainy Sunday afternoon playdate. Allen and I had been doing this for the past two months, giving ourselves a chance at a moment of peace while the girls play with each other, on days when his wife and my girlfriend were scheduled to work.

We met through our women, in fact, though the two of us instantly hit it off. Allen, my age but looking as fine as I had in my early twenties, was into working out just like me, and we both liked to party but somehow all these other activities had taken a back seat to child rearing. Playdates were the only time we really got to hang out.

Allen, wearing nothing but a pair of nylon running shorts, his smooth and muscular body sinking back against the couch, flipped through the channels until he came to a documentary about the turn-of-the-21st-century rave scene in North America.

I’d been there, back when I was a senior in college, taking ecstasy and liquid acid and throwing myself into the sweaty throngs of young bodies dancing the night away without a care in the world. I missed those days, those wonder years of peace and prosperity. Mostly I missed the hot tattooed guy I’d made out when I was candyflipping one hallowed Halloween rave evening.

We’d carried on a pretty torrid and passionate affair, and I explored my burgeoning sexuality with him from top to bottom before I got the creeps about the whole thing and scurried into a relationship with a homely Social Sciences major from the local girls-only liberal arts college. One year later beget our bouncing baby girl, and my hunky tattooed trick (with the eight-inch dick – I know because we measured it once) fell into the deep, red, velvet-lined recesses of my memory. I still had some semblances of my youth – all of my hair and my macho, cut body – but I’d went from living on the edge to living in the suburbs of Chicago. It left something to be desired.

Allen adjusted his golden-haired legs, spreading his thighs until his knee rested against mine.

“I went to one of those once,” he said.

“I went to a lot of those.”

“Yeah? They were too expensive for my taste. I dug the scene though. Kinda freaky,” he said, his soft pink lips curling back, his eyebrows lowering in a scandalous smirk. It nearly gave me a hard-on, that look did. In the lazy Sunday afternoon air, though, pretty much anything gave me a hard-on.

Just then, the documentary started talking about the mutability of sexual desire that was present in the rave scene. They could’ve been talking about my life. Interspersed with the commentary was a few shots of boys kissing other boys. I waited with baited breath to see how Allen reacted.

He let out a low whistle.

“See what I mean?” he said, nudging my thigh with his. “Freaky.”

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Social Media

I’ve been pretty active on Twitter lately, I feel like I’m starting to “get it.” So follow me: https://twitter.com/nattysoltesz

Also, I’m back on Facebook so feel free to friend me if you enjoy interacting with people in that manner.

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New Anthologies

The Bruno Gmunder anthologies I’ve contributed to keep coming fast and furious. Out now are Straight No More and Blowing Off Class. I’ve got stories in the can for three more books and I’m committed to two more.

I’m not sure if it seems egotistical to note that I literally laughed out loud while rereading my contribution to Blowing Off Class. It’s called “Hazed Memory” and it’s about frat hazing abuse  in the form of a letter to a college intrafraternity council written by a very deluded young man. I don’t care if it’s egotistical cause it’s true, and if I can’t get pleasure from the shit I write then that would be sad.

Quick update on the “My Sister’s Boyfriend Joey” novel – I’m almost through the second draft, in fact I’ll be finished this week. My first draft was 120k words, the second’s going to be around 70k. Clearly I enjoy creating excess work for myself. Anyway, the next step is to give it to a friend or two to get feedback, then do another revision, then figure out how I want to publish it.

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New Sebastian Wallace Story

Well, he’s going by Robert Furlong these days. Check this out: Like Father Like Son

  “I know you’re there, Jake,” I’d called out, maintaining my pounding rhythm on my young friend’s rump regardless of my son’s sneaky voyeurism.

At first he’d tried to shrink back into the shadows, as if he hadn’t just been watching his father anally pleasuring another man, but I’d called out again, “Come on, there’s no use pretending, Jake.”

Then he’d appeared in the door of my bedroom, grinning at us and appearing cheerfully unconcerned that the loose grey shorts he was wearing for bed were being prominently lifted upwards by the thickened rod of his flagrant hard-on.

“I was just… er… heading downstairs for a drink,” he lied, as I noticed a wet patch on the material of his shorts up near the pocket; a large dark circle at the tip of his hugely excited organ.  It was obvious that he’d been rubbing himself as he’d watched us having sex: his precum must have been seeping from his erection as he’d massaged the swollen shaft of it through his shorts.

I was damned if I was going to let my son’s unwelcome appearance spoil the enjoyment I was having with Bradley.  Still holding onto his hips and without missing a beat as my crotch slapped back and forth against his arse, I said, “Of course you were, Jake,” who grinned back at us broadly.

I kept up my exertions, wondering what my son would do next, and he just kept smirking at the two of us, the patch of wetness on his shorts growing steadily larger.  He seemed especially interested in seeing Bradley as he bent forwards to be fucked, and my friend chuckled back at him with obvious amusement at having an unexpected audience.  Jake even peered forwards so he could better see the size of Bradley’s erection bobbing stiffly beneath his stomach as I maintained my constant rhythm in and out of his butt-cheeks.

“So, Jake, if there’s nothing else,” I said, feeling a touch self-conscious to have my son standing in front of me, gawping over as I buggered this younger man’s arse.  “I’d appreciate a bit of privacy, please.”

He laughed to himself and licked his lips slowly: he was making it quite evident that he liked the look of Bradley’s large cock.

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I Want to Be an Artist


Today I was re-reading one of my favorite pieces of film criticism, Tim Kreider’s evaluation of Eyes Wide Shut Introducing Sociology. This essay blew my mind when I first read it a couple years back, casting a movie that I’d already enjoyed in an entirely new light. When I first saw Eyes Wide Shut back in 1999, it had affected me as a depiction of the sometimes-opposing forces of desire and fidelity and how they can shape a marriage. But Kreider’s read cast it as a cynical look at late-stage capitalism, where everything is commodified. It’s pretty astute, and convincingly argued, but in the back of my mind I guess I wondered where my own interpretation fit.

Today I came across an afterward by Kreider that I’d never read before where he says (in part):

…watching the film in middle age, I find myself (and imagine Kubrick being) less interested in condemning the Harfords than in simply observing them, and find myself admiring not the same old story he’d always told but the new one he was trying to tell for the first time in his career. He was attempting, late in life, something he’d never done before, something he didn’t know whether he’d be any good at: to make a film about intimate, domestic life, about a blindly complacent but basically happy marriage, testing its fault lines of temptation, jealousy and resentment and leaving it stronger and more truthful.

I found myself emotionally affected by this passage for a couple of reasons. One, it reminded me that personal interpretations are valid and important things and that great art allows for multiple meanings. Second, there is something beautiful about the idea of an accomplished artist like Kubrick – who had plenty of laurels to rest on – attempting something different, taking pet themes and weaving them in with something new.

So I put this out into the world: I want to be an artist, and not a hack. I want what I do to come from a personal place, to always be pushing forward, and if not inventing than at least refining.

p.s. – Another brilliant, mindbending piece of film criticism-as-conspiracy-theory that I read this week (for those interested in this sort of thing): Film Crit Hulk’s The Fallrise of David O. Russell

Something

Home

I haven’t posted on here in over a month. So here’s a post. Wheee! I have nothing to say. Okay, I’m sure I can think of some things. I wake up every morning at 6:30 a.m. Then I hit snooze until 7:30 a.m. I put on my bathrobe, feed my cats, pour a bowl of cereal, and make coffee in a little coffee maker that I bought at the thrift store for three dollars. Once I’m done with my cereal I pour my coffee then sit at my desk. I write in my journal until I’m done. Then I write one thousand words of my current project, which is a novel set in a beach town and is not, necessarily, a piece of erotica. But it is a genre piece. And I’m being deliberately obnoxious about teasing it for a couple reasons, one of which is that I’m a little embarrassed by the genre I’m working with. But I’m not embarrassed at all by what I’ve been writing because it’s just good, good to work on. When I’m finished with my thousand words I go into work – usually late, but I get there. And then I work. When I get home sometimes I work on writing more but usually I don’t. Sometimes I go to the gym. I get ideas at the gym. That was where I got my beach-town novel idea.

Last night I forced myself to sit down and read my first-draft manuscript for “My Sister’s Boyfriend Joey: The Novel” (tentative title), which has been sitting on my computer for the last forty-five days, unfuckedwith. You guys – it’s good. It’s just good. So I’m going to start revising it and hopefully start forcing some friends to read it. And then I’m going to start querying agents because I’ve never done that before and I figure it’s worth a shot.

I cancelled my internet service a couple months ago after coming back from a vacation in a rural setting where there was no internet and when I got back, the cable company had raised my bill by ten dollars, and I’d just spent a week with no internet so I was feeling very hippie-ish and I cancelled my internet. And when I got home that night I had a mild moment of panic. But that has passed and I think not having internet is a good thing. For now. I’m still deactivated on Facebook and I’m trying not to be obnoxious about that but it’s hard because I really fucking hate Facebook and it feels really good not to be checking it every fucking five minutes and reading what amazing things everybody (EVERYBODY) is doing and being unable to resist comparing myself and feeling worthless and pathetic as a result.

Maybe you’re reading this and it’s making you feel worthless. I’m sorry. You know that most advice is bullshit, right? You know that your life is your own, and the immense power and beauty that comes from all of us living according to our own rules, don’t you?

So I don’t have internet which has had the slightly-intended effect of making me much more productive when I do get online. So I’ve published a couple of my ebooks to markets where they were previously unavailable, so that’s good. And I’ve published one of my stories to a bunch of free story sites (like Nifty) which has increased my web traffic exponentially, so that’s good too.

Basically, it’s all good. Even though the days are so short and sometimes when I wake up and enact my little routine it feels like slow death. Sometimes it does. Sometimes it doesn’t. I find more gray hair on my head every day, it seems, around my temples and in my facial hair. I’m lucky to have it.

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Update

I have a new story in this month’s Handjobs called “Game Night.” I wrote this one from a pure place of horniness and wanting to turn myself on, which I can’t say happens much when I write anymore. So it may be that it’s a good one. Here’s the description from HJ:

Game Night by Natty Soltesz

Every Friday night is game night at home, but one Friday when it’s just Dad and Son at home, Dad ups the ante by suggesting, “You’ve heard of strip poker, right? What about strip Monopoly?” His son says, “Really?” The boy feels his heart quickening. Dad says, “Why not? When one of us lands on the other’s property, we have to take off a piece of clothing. Whaddaya say?”

I’m still uploading the entirety of my recent book 691 Suburban Dr to the Nifty Archive – the seventh chapter should be up in a couple of days.

My abysmal ebook sales (see comments for clarification here) are starting to get me down. I still plan to become a full-time writer and hope to achieve this goal in the next year and a half. I know it’s going to happen because…I just do. But the question is how, and when I’m going to spend the time focusing on the business end of things.

Because at the moment I am fully focused on the creative end of things. I finished my FIRST NOVEL (Backwoods wasn’t really a novel) – the expansion of My Sister’s Boyfriend Joey – last month, and I’ve now started on another project that is looking good. I’m not sure if it’s another novel or not, but it’s certainly a longer piece of work.

Novels. I’ve been attempting them for years, but somehow this year I just figured it out. I don’t know how to explain it, but I have that same feeling I did when I first started writing stories – like I figured out how to write them and then it was effortless and I just had fun with it, doing different things and exploring styles and modes. I feel like I’m on the same path here with novels or longer stories – I just get it now. I love the thing I’m working on, currently, which is so ridiculous but so fun and I wish I could tell you more but I don’t want to jinx it.

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New Anthologies

Two new anthologies featuring my stories are out this month, Team Players and Daddy Knows Best, both published by Bruno Gmunder and edited by Winston Gieseke. I’m pretty proud of these books and my contributions to them. Especially Daddy Knows Best, which I just read through over the weekend and is a solid read. The story I contributed for Team Players is “Supplemental,” a.k.a the one where cum is used as a protein supplement for college gym bunnies.

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Videogames?

Yes, videogames. Sometimes I get into them. Granted, this is a rare thing. I think the last videogame I actually completed was Myst. That was twenty fucking years ago.

But anyway, I like to read about videogames more than I like to play them, and yesterday I read about a game called Gone Home and it sounded like something I’d dig (it’s pretty similar to Myst, actually). In fact, it sounded like a video game version of an idea I’d come up with myself a few years back, and wrote up in this story called The Secret House Idea which I published on my website back in 2009. Here’s a bit of it:

As you furnish [the house] you begin to create an imaginary family who lived there.  You designate rooms for certain people.  The parents would probably have the largest bedroom, and maybe there’s a room for a son and a daughter.  Or maybe a broken family lived there, like some deadbeat parent who never was around, and the kid just took over the place, inviting all of his friends to stay there and trashing the place.  Then again, maybe he cared for it, and made it into a private teenage paradise.

So now you’ve created a living space for these people.  The next step is understanding who they are.  You have to create an entire life for them – letters, diaries, old telephone bills, recipe books…everything.  You have to create this family out of thin air.

Once you had it all created, all laid out, you could invite people there.  Or, you could just leave the door unlocked and let people find it.

The house would be stuck in time, as if the occupants left one afternoon and never returned.

They could snoop through the detritus of this imagined life, pick and prod through these people’s things and get to know them, create this grand story that you’ve conceived only through what you’ve left behind, these certain clues, pieces to the puzzle.

It’s actually kind of insane how much Gone Home matches up with my idea, which I don’t say to pat myself on the back (well, not too much) but more to express to you how much this game appealed to me on a basic level. It’s not an intense game by any means – I met its objective within a couple of hours – but it’s pretty singular in the way that it creates a world and allows you to explore it. Highly recommended!

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