“I Want Your Fluids”

Repost from old blog, 2/16/2009So has everyone seen the BBC documentary about women who have loving, sexual relationships with objects like banisters and the Berlin Wall? If not, you must:

Married to the Eiffel Tower

It’s my bad blogger habit to just assume that everyone is exposed to the same shit as me. Everytime I talk to one of my friends about this they have no idea what I’m talking about, so I end up showing it to them and watching it all over again.

Of course I laughed at it at first (and still do), but the more I watch these special ladies the more I find them so strangely endearing. For starters, what could be more harmless than fucking an object? These ladies aren’t hurting anyone. My favorite part is when they’re at the amusement park, and while the one lady is rubbing Mr. 1001 Nacht’s oil on her face, the other one wanders off and has a chance encounter with a very attractive fence. She doesn’t waste any time, either – just straddles that sucker and goes to town! I love it.

What’s so fascinating about their desire, I think, is that it comes from a place we can all relate to. My friend Sera and I got to discussing what object of our own we would be screwing if we “went that way.” Mine would probably be my new laptop. I just got it this Fall, and I’m always wiping it down with this special microfiber cloth to keep it fingerprint-free and clean.

I have this crazy impulse to try my hand at an objectosexual porno story. I think I could do it. Stay tuned. Or don’t.