Inspecting the Landlord

By Natty Soltesz

I did one more round in my little one-bedroom apartment, sweeping up cat hair, wiping down the counters, putting away some food.  My building had been turned over to a new management company, and the new landlord wanted to get a look at my place.  He was scheduled to arrive in ten minutes.

I didn’t know why I was making such an attempt to clean up.  I guess it’s just in my nature to want to create a good impression.

Nevertheless, I completely forgot to hide the gay porno magazine sitting on the back of my toilet.  Maybe I did it on purpose, subconsciously.  At any rate, when my new landlord (named Nick) walked into my apartment five minutes late, he could have been stepping out of the pages of that fucking magazine.

He was hot, but in a really blue-collar sort of way–tall, with black hair that stood up from his head.  He wore dirty jeans and a t-shirt which hung perfectly on his muscular frame.  He smiled at me when I opened the door, looking me over, his stubbly face conforming around his teeth.

He looked in my bedroom, my living room, my kitchen.

“These’re nice apartments,” he said.

“Yeah, I love this place.”

“So what’re the other tenants like?”  I told him the guy on the first floor was crazy, and he said he’d heard about that.  “I was told that you pretty much kept to yourself,” he said, and there was something insinuating in the way he asked it.  I told him I did.

Nick pushed past me and went into the bathroom. I stood in the doorway, watching him as he leaned in to look at the shower, and then I saw it. That porno magazine, laying right on top of my stack.  Oh well, I figured, what have I got to hide?

Nick leaned back out of the shower and scanned the room.  When he saw the magazine, he stopped, and my heart skipped a beat.  He turned to me, and a grin spread across his face.

“You a fudgepacker?” he said.

I told him to get the fuck out of my apartment.

“Whoa whoa there,” he said, holding up his hands and following me into the hallway.  “No big deal.”

“You insulted me,” I told him.  He laughed.

“Look—it’s cool.  I’ve known some faggots in my day, and—”

“Watch your fucking mouth!” I said.  He held up his hands again.

“Sorry, I’m really sorry about that.  Maybe we can just do this over again.  You were talking about your mouth?”

“Huh?” I said, genuinely perplexed.

“Your mouth,” he said, and wrapped his hand around the big bulge in his jeans.  “It’d look nice around this fat Italian piece I’m packin.”

There comes a moment in some people’s lives where they have to weigh their own morals and ideals against what their heart is telling them to do. My brain was willing me to make good on my earlier order to kick the cocky, insulting motherfucker to the curb, while my dick was commanding me to drop to my knees, make like a horn, and blow.

But I didn’t do either.  I leaned back against the wall and crossed my arms in front of me.

“How fat?” I asked him.

“Fat enough,” he said, still grinning, still working his package.

“Let me see,” I said.

“Why don’t you take it out yoursel—”

“Fuck that.  Take it out.  Let me see it.”  Nick looked at me a second longer, then let out a huff.  He unzipped his jeans, reached in, and heaved out what had to be the biggest, fattest flaccid dick I’d ever seen.  It must have registered on my face, because when I finally looked up Nick had the most shit-eating grin, like he’d been right all along.

“Big enough for you?” he said.

“It’s nice,” I conceded.  “You want me to suck it?”

“Yeah,” he said.

“You want a guy to suck your dick.  What are you, some kind of faggot?”  Nick looked caught in the headlights for a minute, but before he could react I reached over and took his big dick in my hand.  I let it slide roughly along my palm, felt it start to fill and fatten.

“Oh yeah,” Nick said next to my ear.  “That’s fucking sweet.  You are gonna suck it for me, aren’t you?”  I figured I’d said enough, and it was time to let him have his fun.  I got down on my knees and took the head of that gorgeous dick between my lips.  Nick moaned, and his dick went fully hard in almost no time at all.

“Yeah, that’s it,” he said in a husky voice.  “Suck that dick.  Work it for me.  I need to get a nut like you wouldn’t believe.”  I slid my lips down the perfectly proportioned shaft of his dick, smooth and thick as a glass bottle.  I worked the salty head with my tongue, smearing drops of pre-cum that were thick and tasty.  Nick fell back against the wall, and I scooted forward to take him.

His cock was more than an Italian sausage—it was a meal all to itself, one that I would have happily feasted on for hours.  As it was, I kept a steady rhythm, smoking his bone the best way I knew how.  I took him far down my throat, wanting to stuff as much as I could of him inside me.  Nick reacted to everything.  I took out his cock and slapped the immensity of it against my face.

“Yeah, you love that dick,” he said, taking it into his hand and whacking me with it a few more times.  “Aw, swallow it again for me…yeah…fucking sweet.”  He heaved out his nuts.

“Work on that sack for me.  Yeah, lick my nuts,” he said as I took his sweaty balls into my mouth.  I was so turned on I had to take my own rock-hard dick out of my shorts and fist it while my lips and tongue wrapped around his gamey bull-balls.  I lapped up his sack, chowing down on his orbs.

I reached up and buckled his belt, letting his pants fall down to his ankles.  I looked up at him as I swallowed his dick down the root, running my lips and tongue back up that fat shaft, caressing every inch of him.  He was in total ecstasy, running his hand up his shirt, revealing a thick midsection and a broad hairy chest, and tweaking his fat nipples.

I bobbed on his dick a few more times, then went back down for his nuts, lapping them up in my mouth and inching my tongue to the space underneath.  Nick stopped me and slid off his pants.  I caressed the length of his hairy, thick thighs, before going back to that hairy netherworld where his cock turned into his ass.

“Oh fuck yeah,” Nick said.  My tongue inched ever closer to his hole.  When I poked the edge of his slick, sensitive pucker with my tongue, Nick jerked like he’d been sent an electric shock.  “Holy fuck!” he said.  I got underneath him, and went right in for his butthole, jamming my tongue right into his tightly clenched pucker.  He was trying to catch his breath.

“No-nobody’s ever done that to me before,” he said.

“You serious?” I said, standing up and moving in behind him.  “Best feeling in the world.  Relax.  Lean forward.”  Nick braced himself against the opposite wall, presenting his butt to me.  It was a gorgeous ass—firm and round, dusted with hair.  I pulled his cheeks apart and examined his pinkbutthole.  I couldn’t believe that I would be the first one to explore this virgin territory on this hot guy, who was obviously no stranger to having other dudes suck him off.  I decided to make the most of it.

I ran my tongue down the deep length of his crack, brushing my tongue across his hole.  Nick shuddered.  Then I buried my face into his crack, enthusiastically eating out his ass.  Nick bucked, he groaned.  He loved every minute of it.  Gradually, his asshole started to relax, and I was able to get more and more of my tongue inside of him.  I felt his butt while I was doing it, working and massaging his ass cheeks as I ate out his most sensitive of areas.  I looked up—Nick’s arm was braced on the wall and his head was crushed against it.  His other arm was underneath him, working that enormous dong while I feasted on his ass.

“Oh, God,” Nick kept saying.  I slapped his ass, hard, my tongue still mashing into his hole.  “Oh, fuck yeah!” he yelled.

I stood up, and without really thinking, started sliding my hard dick against his sloppy wet hole.  I grabbed a hold of his ass.  Nick stiffened when he realized what I was doing, but I didn’t stop.  I kept it up against his hole, sliding my rock hard shaft along the entrance to his ass, just so he could feel it. I loved the way it looked, riding in between those sweet plump ass cheeks, loved the way his small back arched up to his broad back.  After a while he relaxed.  I couldn’t believe how hot his butthole felt, how much I wanted to get inside.  Any sense of a power struggle had faded from the front of my mind.  Now we were just two guys, having some fucking hot sex.

I was really grinding into him now, my cock ready to burst the seams of Nick’s virgin butt.  Nick moved his ass forward so the tip of my dick came to rest against his hole, then he pushed back.  The head of my dick went sliding right into him, like butter.  I quickly pulled out.  He was so ready, his ass so relaxed, that it didn’t seem to have fazed him in the slightest.

I put my hand on his crack, gently pressing my finger against his hot, quivering sinkhole.

“Wait right there,” I said, and I ran to my bedroom to get a rubber.  I slathered some lube on my dick, then repositioned myself behind Nick.  He hadn’t missed a beat, still waving his ass in the air while he kept a steady rhythm on his meat.  I got down and got another good taste of his butt, before standing up and pushing my slicked-down rubbered dick right in the heart of his hole.

I let Nick do the work, and there was no denying that he wanted it just as much as, if not more than, I did.  His ass was ready; he pushed it right back onto my dick and swallowed up the head of it again.  I gasped as I felt my cock being plunged into the tight, hot depths of his asshole.  Slowly he pushed back more and more, making nary a sound as his ass devoured my dick, inch by heavenly inch.

Watching my dick disappear inside Nick’s manly ass, I had a weird, surreal moment.  Here was a guy who’d come off as so weirdly homophobic just a minute a go, who if you saw him on the street you’d never assume him to be anything less than straight.  Yet his ass was pressing down on my dick, filling him up.  Maybe it was all part of his game.  Who cared?

My dick bottomed out in Nick’s butt, my pubes pressing into the top of his ass.

“Aww yeah,” Nick said.  I pulled back slightly.  Nick pushed back into me.  “Fuck my fuckin ass,” he said, but he was fucking himself, riding back and forth on my pole, impaling himself and then sliding back off.  His tight, virgin ass gripped my pole so tight, hot and insistent.  I grabbed his ass cheeks and working with his rhythms, pulling him down on to me then sliding him off.

“You like my dick in your ass?” I ventured.  Up until now, our dirty talk had been a pretty much one-sided conversation, and I didn’t want to spoil the mood.

“Fuck yeah,” Nick said.  “You like my tight little ass around your cock?  You like fuckin my hot little Italian butt?”

“Goddamn right I do,” I said.  “Gimme that hot fuckin ass.”  I held his hips tight and pounded into him, my cock slamming into his insides like a greased piston.  Nick let out a succession of wordless grunts.

I laid my body against his back and he tumbled forward, bracing himself on the floor.  I carefully sat down, guiding his ass into a sitting position on my lap.  He held a hand against the wall and rode my dick.  I grabbed his hips and helped him along, thrusting up into him.  His arm worked a fist over his spit and sweat slicked cock.

“Yeah, you got a hungry little ass, dontcha?” I said.

“Aww yeah, my fuckin butt around your cock, slammin your cock into my fuckin ass.  Gonna make me bust a nut.  FUCK!”  A stream of jizz flew up over his shoulder.  It landed somewhere beside me in the hallway.  His ass clenched around my dick as he shot more and more cum, spraying it everywhere.

I raised him off my dick and pushed him back.  He laid down on his back, panting, his hairy chest covered—I mean covered—in his jizz.  I ripped the condom off my own dick, and kneeled over him, pounding it in my sweaty palm.

“Yeah, fuckin shoot it on me, cum all over my lips,” Nick said.  I crouched over his face just as I started to lose control.  Then I unloaded, my come came streaming out of my dick like I was pissing semen, spraying thick ropes of cum all over his hair, finally resting pools on his lips, even landing some into his open mouth.  He tasted it on his tongue, rolling it around before swallowing it down.

I was totally spent.  I laid down on him, relishing the feel of his massive muscular frame, so hot and heaving under mine.

Nick rolled me off him and stood up.

“That was nice, eh?” I said, standing up beside him.

“Fuck yeah, it was!” Nick said, beaming as he went to the bathroom and grabbed a towel.  “I never had a faggot fuck me up the butt before. What a fuckin sensation!” he said, toweling himself clean.

I was aghast, to say the least.  But all I could think was life is strange, life is strange.  It really makes no sense, sometimes.