Your Very Special Friday Nifty Experience
This is a two-part Friday Nifty Experience, in fact the first part isn’t a Nifty story at all. It is my hands-down all-time favorite erotic story. That’s a bold statement, I know, and actually the more I think about it the more I question its veracity, but there’s no doubt in my mind that I have jacked off more to this story than to any other story I’ve read.
It’s from an old Letters to Penthouse paperback (Letters to Penthouse VIII by the Editors of Penthouse Magazine). I picked up this book when I was in high school, so this story must have been one of my formative sexual experiences or something because in my mind, it’s perfect. It’s titled “Friends Don’t Let Friends Waste Spunk” and it’s credited to “H.L. in Sterling Heights, Michigan.” I’ve often wondered about ‘ole H.L. The story is clearly the work of a professional writer – I challenge you to find one wasted word.
Below are some scanned images of the pages (click them to enlarge), but you can also read it (more easily but without the charm of a broken spine and yellowing pages) on Google Books via this link.
The Nifty portion of this saga involves a story I came across a few weeks ago when looking for Friday Nifty posts: Ice Fishing in Canada by Jimmy James. I think even a cursory look this story in relation to the other will raise some flags – my guess is that the Mr. James either consciously or unconsciously tried to emulate something he read in Penthouse one day. I don’t blame him – I’ve been guilty of this in the past. Of course, I’ve had it perpetrated on me, too.
6 Comments
Remember when? : Johnny Murdoc
May 13, 2011 @ 11:11:45
[…] Over on his blog, Natty Soltesz shares a story from Letters to Penthouse VIII: […]
May 14, 2011 @ 11:14:47
Ok Natty I am going to ask you a logistical question.
When you ‘jack off to’ a story, how do you do it? Because I love to read porn, but I find that it just doesn’t go with actual masturbation. I am right handed, for example, and prefer to both hold a book and masturbate with my ‘dominant hand’. I could go on but I expect you and your readers don’t want to hear about my failed attempts at wanking and reading. Suffice to say, I tend to read first, jack off later.
What’s your trick? And do you ever spunk on the pages?
May 15, 2011 @ 00:30:20
P.s. great story. I will ‘save it for later’.
You’re right. That is by if not a professional writer, at least a writer.
May 16, 2011 @ 10:10:50
Geez, Quiet Riot Girl, I suppose I’ve never really considered it before. I’m right handed, I suppose I just hold the book in my left hand and do what I will with the right hand. It’s not ideal, I’ll grant you, but necessity is the mother of invention, as they say, which is why I was able to jack off to department store catalogs (underwear section) when I was twelve.
And no, I don’t ever spunk on pages.
May 17, 2011 @ 09:33:14
I think I am a bit autistic. I can’t quite deal with holding a book in my left hand (or doing what I will with my left hand either)!
Thanks for answering!
Jan 13, 2012 @ 14:24:53
HMMM, While I am a visually cued indivd I have to say the written word, when done well has the true effect for me. When I read and jack I usually read to the end and then put the book aside…never down! Writing porn is a true art and i have tried and submitted my work…to no published avail. I tend to like best the stories of spur of the moment, not looking for it sex where two guys find themselves caught in a moment of time. And I believe that this is a real state of how homo sex. long before the labels and boundaries of it where place has existed. Oh by the way the turned down sex story involved my stumbling into a London Subway bog to pony up to the trough and realise that I had just interuppted a mutual appreciation and self enjoyment session. Moreover the line-up comprised one east indian in a turban, one guy in a Australian bushwhackers coat (1993), one asian guy, and a black guy, myself the perennially naiev Canadian wearing/whoring a plaid lumber jack shirt. I called it the Pan-colonial wank fest…this is what makes Britain Great1