Five Great Porn Scenes

Repost from old blog, 12/7/2006

Because I write porno fiction it should come as no surprise that, regarding porno movies, I value story and scene over anything else. I need believable characters – strong archetypes. I need creative dialogue – no matter how cheesy. Most of all, I need a hot situation, something I can sink my teeth into.

The perfect porno scene is a rare thing, but finding a truly great one can make hours of half-hearted wanking seem worthwhile. Without further ado, here are my all-time favorite porno scenes:

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5) Big Guns (1987), d. William Higgins
Scene w/ Mike Henson, Mike Ryan, and Jeff Boote

Three straight dudes get a hotel room, strip down to their extremely brief white briefs, and get into the hot tub; all the while talking about bringing back “babes” to fuck and ribbing each other in a playful, natural way. They get out of the tub, where Boote finds a package of “Fundies” (which are these, not these) in Henson’s suitcase. Boote dares the others to try them on, and they do, which leads to some horseplay. “Be careful, you’ll rip my Fundies, my girlfriend’ll get pissed.” “Fuck your girlfriend!” They wrestle around on the bed until their cocks get hard. The sex progresses in a natural, unforced way, and soon they’re all fucking and sucking each other. All three of the guys are pretty hot, and the way the scene becomes sexual free-for-all (all three guys bottom) is part of what makes it so great.

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4) Men of the Midway (1983), d. Roger Earl
Opening scene w/Paul Barresi and Chris Burns

Daddy’s home! Paul Barresi, at the peak of his studly, raunchy daddy appeal (pics above are in lieu of actual screencaps, since I only have this on video (UPDATE: View a good portion of the scene over at BJ Land)), decides that his boy (Burns) needs to get off his lazy ass and start pulling his weight. How? He’s going to sell his ass, of course. And whaddya know, this is the same thing dad did to mom, “except that bitch got too old.” Barresi opens up a big bag of dildos and proceeds to indoctrinate his son into the world of anal sex. “Just relax. Daddy’s gonna show you how good it feels.” Other great lines: “You’re enjoying the shit out of this, aren’t ya? Now this one’ll make you a ‘real man’.” Barresi teaches his boy the art of sucking cock (“Bet you’ve thought about this a lot, haven’t ya?”), and all the ungrateful brat can do is whine and complain. A lot of the scene’s success is due to how hot Barresi looks and how willing he is to throw himself into it. I challenge you to show me a better father/son incest scene (oh, please do! I love this shit and want more!).

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3) Lucas Encounters 1: The Heat of the Moment (2006)
Dorm Room Education scene with Blu Kennedy and Danny Bitho, d. Tony DiMarco

This is the rare instance of a porn scene that gets just about everything right. It’s a thing of beauty, really, right down to the muted, realistic lighting and ambient noise. The story is a pure, unadulterated dorm-room fantasy: Kennedy catches Bitho jerking off, and one thing leads to another. The thing is, you really believe that both of these guys are college students and dorm roommates – Kennedy is the nerdy homo on the verge of coming out, Bitho the sexually liberated horn dog who rocks Kennedy’s world. The dialogue is pitch-perfect (“You ever touched a dick before? You want to?”), and the guys really seem to enjoy having sex with each other. Bonus points for Bitho eating his own come (in fact Danny Bitho really does deserve a special mention for an overall excellent performance). I’ve watched other Lucas movies but nothing came close to the heat of this scene. Maybe sometimes the stars just align, the angels sing, and hot porn such as this is born.

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2) Hot Times in Little Havana (1998), d. Kristen Bjorn
Coast Guard scene with Julio Duran, Buddy Jones, and Bruno Diaz

I don’t even know what to say about this scene; I’ve probably beat off to it about a million times. Julio Duran escapes Cuba and is found floating in his cut-off jean shorts by two Coast Guard studs played by Jones and Diaz. The hottest element of this scene, though, is the interplay between the Captain (Diaz) and his subordinate (Jones). They chain Duran up, strip him and search him – then, for some reason, the Captain thinks it’s a good idea that Jones “take out his dick and show our Cuban friend how we treat a dick;” to which Jones, getting blown by his superior, responds, “Yes, SIR.” As is Bjorn’s trademark, there’s plenty of beautiful uncut cocks and multiple, hands-free cum shots, but as far as I’m concerned, this scene is all Bruno Diaz; the subtle power play between captain/subordinate/captive is intense and highly erotic.

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1) California Kings (1997), d. John Rutherford
Scene with Mike Branson and Tom Chase

Why is this my number one porn scene? This is a movie with a plot centered on mattresses, for chrissake. The set-up to the scene in question is serviceable at best, and though Branson and Chase trade a lot of creative, seemingly improvised dialogue; they are quite clearly “role playing” and never losing themselves in the scene. And yet, these guys are consummate porn actors, completely comfortable in front of the camera, and there’s a level of intensity between them that’s unmatched. They are really getting off on each other and on the roles that they are assuming. Both of them are considered tops, and the scene is based around this, with Branson coming on strong to his buddy and Chase continually claiming that he’s “never done this before,” yet unable to stop himself once he sees his best friend’s huge dick. There’s so much great dialogue in this scene I couldn’t begin to quote it all.
Branson: “You know what I really like? Your ass.”
Chase: “Get out of here, buddy, we’ve been friends for a long time! We don’t do that stuff!”
Branson: “It’ll be alright, I’ll just put the tip in.”
Chase: “Oh man, I can’t believe we’re doin this.”
Because this is a Falcon movie, the guys look like Ken dolls – you can barely tell where Chase’s asshole is, because it’s all so tanned and smooth and plastic-looking. The scene has a forward momentum that doesn’t let up (though the money shot is curiously lacking). I hope these guys got together off camera. They seem like they’d be a good match.

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So there you have it. Do you get where I’m coming from? Do you pick up what I’m layin down? The main purpose of this blog is to, hopefully, solicit some comments from my readers. I love a good porn scene like little else, but finding the truly great ones is next to impossible without relying on personal recommendations. So lemme hear em!