So there was the porn set, with hot sex for sure, but also camera angle changes and dead camera batteries and airplanes occasionally ruining the sound overhead. After filming was over I was asked – had the fantasy of porn been ruined for me? The illusion shattered? To which I honestly replied “no.” I mean, I’ve seen “Boogie Nights.” Watching any porn, I’m always aware of the glimpses of reality I can catch beyond the frame.

Maybe it’s just me, but I find it hard to believe anybody holds illusions about porn at this point. Which isn’t to say I don’t enjoy it – quite the contrary. It’s just that the will of fantasy is powerful, and will easily squelch anything that gets in the way of its enjoyment. I mean, just cause Mel Gibson is a homophobic asshole doesn’t make his “Lethal Weapon”-era ass any less hot, right? Even though you have no chance of ever meeting the guy (and if you did manage to proposition him he’d probably beat you up), the exuberance of your fantasy life still, somehow, gets your face between his buttcheeks.

But anyway.

The set was homey and everyone was friendly and welcoming. On breaks we ate cherries and Nutella sandwiches and watched “South Park.” I didn’t get an erection, except for chubbing up a little when I sat down and read the script. Shows where my interests lie. I got a certain frisson from tiny details – the way a performer slapped the sides of someone’s shaved head, for instance. But, ultimately, the proceedings were stripped of any fantasy element for me to latch on to (they’d filmed the dialogue the day before).

So why didn’t I get a charge from simply seeing real, live people have sex with each other right in front of me? After all, the experience presented me with my first view, since entering a monogamous relationship, of a real live naked man standing in front of me with an erection (who wasn’t my boyfriend). But still – it was real yet unreal.

Beforehand, I assumed I’d be more interested in watching the actual performers than viewing them on the monitors, but as the scene progressed I found myself watching the monitors more, becoming more interested in the fantasy that they represented than the actuality of the work that was taking place. I was looking at it as a writer, as if the scene was a story, focusing in on elements that worked for me, positioning the performers as characters in my mind, props.

Joe was nice enough to even entertain one of my suggestions (you can read about it on Joe’s new, improved blog). Will it work to the scene’s advantage in the end? Who the fuck knows. Certainly not me. At any rate, I sort of like the idea of manipulating people to my own perverted ends – and I only make that sound diabolical in jest. Directing seems like another side to what I’m already doing (albeit a side that I have no experience with whatsoever). I think that’s the biggest revelation I took away from the experience.

Note: Due to the continuous glut of amateur internet porn this is post is woefully out-of-date.

Amateur “straight guy” porn – the web is overrun with it. You either love it, hate it, or jerk off and never think twice about it.

I find it alternately arousing, annoying, fascinating and frustrating. The guys that produce the stuff almost interest me more than the models themselves. There’s Sean Cody, sucking cock in his prim buttoned-up plaid shirt and pressed khakis; there’s Doug & Jay, looking stoned out of their gourds and having sloppy sex with trashy models who look just as if not more stoned; and then there’s the world of Straight College Men.com, possibly the most obnoxious site out there, with its insufferable, panty-voiced director fawning and wetting himself over his models, none of whom ever miss an opportunity to express their heterosexuality, even when they’re fucking each other in the ass.

But these sites interest me much more than studio-produced porn, nowadays, because there seems to be more room for fantasizing in them. The models carry a lot of embellished backstory, much more than the typical “character” played by a porn star allows. We get a chance to imagine what the amateur porn model’s life might be off camera. We can envision them being pulled off the street, away from girlfriends and jobs.

I realized recently that I get a lot of my best ideas for porn stories from these sites. There’s a lot going on in them, and I’m less interested in what’s “true” than in what is presented to me and what I can’t see.

So here are five of my favorite amateur porn scenes.

Amateur Straight Guys – “Nate and Vance”
Two visibly drunk guys have sex. Not much to that, but there’s something refreshing about how much delight they take in it. It’s all about Vance’s dialogue in this one: to him, apparently, fucking each other in the ass is just what “bros” do, nothin queer about that.

…more

Sean Cody – “Blowing Brock”
It’s all about that ass. The guy – huge, dumb as a bag of rocks, little dick – but with this huge, hairy, amazing ass. He gets up on the bed, spreads it wide open, and whaddya know – there’s a fag waiting on the other end of the bed, and he just buries his face inside that thing and has at it. And the big boy LOVES it – he can’t help himself, he’s a fucking hulk, a dumb animal – he’s not wired to think about things, only to respond to external stimulus as best he can. I rarely play this clip past the first five minutes. It’s all about that ass.

Bukbuddies
Here I’m singling out an entire site, and not a particular scene, because I think this is one of the best, undervalued amateur-model sites out there. The photography is perfect – even better than Sean Cody’s impeccably-lit scenes. And the guys are totally hot – not too smooth and perfect, kind of masculine, just trashy enough. I love that they serve all kinds of different fetishists here (feet, stuffed animals) without it getting in the way of my vanilla tastes. Here are some of my favorite guys.

Sean Cody – “Dominic & Andy”
Jesus I love this scene. Dominic just kills me- those sideburns, that short, muscled, padded body, that smooth tubular dick – and most of all, that fucking ass. It’s a thing of beauty – the cleft deep and pink, his asshole smooth and clean. And he seems like such a cool dude, who’s just out to have a good time. He smiles through the whole thing, he takes his partner’s dick out and gives it a stroke or two. At one point, he seems like he’s willing to kiss his partner, but his partner defers and you wonder, why? I have such a crush on Dominic. It’s terrible.

Straight College Men – “Sonny and Caleb”
Wouldn’t you know, the most annoying site out there has the scene that rates highest on my list. Maybe it’s because of the frustration I feel with most of the videos on that site, that this one stands out, that all of the missed opportunities in the other videos are redeemed here. This is a great scene in spite of how it was produced.
This site always operates on the premise that its models are only doing it for the money. But Sonny and Caleb obviously enjoy having sex with each other – and each of them visibly want more. So the director of the site keeps trying to sabotage it. He continually interrupts what they are doing, trying to reassure them that they are acting, when they clearly aren’t. You want to scream at him – “Shut the fuck up and leave them ALONE!”
“Boy, you guys are real troopers,” he says in his horrid whiny voice, and the guys are forced to retreat, to pretend like they hate what they are doing. The enthusiasm, though, can’t help but come through.
——–

Other thoughts on other sites:

Corbin Fisher:
I occasionally jerk off to this site, but the models are way too white-bread, and more importantly – they act too much. “Oooh, oooh yeah baby, fuck my hole. Oooh oooh,” they coo, and you know in their head they’re thinking “I’m such a fucking porn star.” They never let their guard down. When they fuck it’s always too hard, and the bottom’s cock is too soft. It bores me.

Jake Cruise:
Man, that Jake Cruise sure is a stud. I’ve read strong opinions about this site, from people who can’t understand why you would want to pay to watch a fat, balding guy have sex with hot guys. Well, Jake Cruise is like the narrator of the stories – you put yourself in his place. And he definitely gets some hot guys – but mostly they’re of the foreign, monosyllabic quality. Which is fine, every once in a while.

Randy Blue:
This site bores me as well. There is nothing unique about it, so far as I can tell. The guys are hot, but in this bland way. That said, a friend let me use his subscription for it and I used to jerk off to it a lot. It came in handy, but that’s about all I can say for it.

CircleJerkBoys.com & MenOver30.com:
I thoroughly enjoy both of these sites, and the only reason I didn’t include any of these scenes on my list, probably, is that I wasn’t able to download them when I had a subscription so I kind of forgot about it. I love that they always use the same, butt-ugly polka-dotted futon. There’s a good mix of trashy and clean-cut guys, some of whom seem to be enjoying themselves.

But times change and my newest sweetheart is a young man I discovered the other day while trolling XTube. His name is Shane, and he’s featured on a site previously unknown to me, Dixter.com. The site actually seems pretty great, and I’ll be able to verify that in a few days since I just plunked down the money for a goddamn one-month membership. It was all for Shane, of course…sigh…

Shane embodies an aspect of eroticism that’s been on my mind lately – he’s an exhibitionist. He also shows off his ass a lot. He gets off so much on showing his ass, that in his first video, he cums pretty much spontaneously just from spreading his cheeks. Jeezus.

Aside from that, he just seems like such a nice guy…sigh…

UPDATE for 2010: I was thinking of this post the other day because I came across a new collection of Old Reliable photos, which features Blake, my old porn crush, on the cover! I need this book!

Ain't he adorable?

Today I was getting ready for work when I realized that some of my porn had finally downloaded. I opened it up for a quick look, and saw something completely new for the first time: I saw twin brothers having sex with each other.

This kind of blew my mind – after the fact. As I was watching I was way too turned on and fascinated to think about what I was seeing, but as I walked to work some questions surfaced: Was what I just watched illegal? What does it mean that I just witnessed a huge social taboo shattered on film? Is this a sign of our moral decline? But most importantly: how much longer before I can come home and masturbate to it?

Then I started thinking of that ridiculous Glenn Beck clip I posted on Monday, about how porn is addictive. And I realized that that clip hit kind of close to home for me, because I really do worry that I consume too much porn, that I prefer fantasy over reality, and that I’m somehow harming myself because of it.

But fuck that. It’s just the shame talking, the same shame that made that dumb schmuck on the Glenn Beck clip believe he was doing himself a service by going on TV (and dragging his wife on there, too – what a jerk) and telling people how much he used to beat off. If I’m gonna look at porn and jerk off, I’m not going to feel ashamed about it. It’s not the end of the world. Nobody’s getting hurt.

I haven’t jerked off the to the twins yet but I’m going to as soon as I finish writing this.

—–

I was standing at the bus stop, watching lots of college kids stream by (it was Friday night on homecoming weekend). A group of three boys and four girls passed me by, and I immediately got a good vibe from them. I thought, Those are my kind of people.  They seemed relaxed. I thought,  They probably get high.  They were pretty, but in individualistic ways – not fashionable or conformist.

I turned to watch them go and thought about following them. The night seemed filled with possibility. I imagined trailing them to a party, subtly intergrating myself into their night, getting to know them, maybe even becoming their friend. Just witnessing their lives for one night.

Then I heard somebody say “Hi,” and I turned around to see two perky, fresh-faced young people – a guy and a girl – standing about five inches from my face.

^^visual representation

“Hi!” they said.
“Hi,” I said.
“How are you tonight?” she said.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“You doing alright tonight?” he said.
“What’s up?” I asked again, as if I couldn’t figure it out. They handed me a card for their bible study. “We’re from the Greater Pittsburgh Church of Christ.”

I talked to them as I waited for my bus. They asked me a lot of questions, and succeeded in making me feel interesting and accepted. We talked about J.K. Rowling, about writing as a career, blahdey blah blah.

I got tired of it. I wanted to acknowledge the artificiality of the situation – my belief that they had approached me and were attempting to befriend me on false pretenses. They didn’t want to become my friend, they wanted to get me to come to their church. Right?

“So why do you do this?” I asked.

The guy got nervous, started rocking on his heels, as if he was afraid that I was getting confrontational. But the girl didn’t miss a beat. She said she discovered God after she came to college, and it was a great thing that made her life better and she wanted to share it with people. I could respect that. I asked her if it was something she thought she’d do for the rest of her life. “God willing,” she said.

But I don’t think she got what I meant. I wasn’t asking if she’d be a Christian for the rest of her life, I meant would she continue to just walk up to people and start talking to them. Because in a weird way, I really envy the balls that the two of them had, to start a conversation with a random stranger. Kind of like what I wanted to do with that group of cool kids just a few minutes ago… (Who, at this point, I’d completely forgotten about. What happened to them, anyway? Where did they go?)

So if I had tried to integrate myself into the evening of those cool kids, would I have been acting on false pretenses? Just getting to know them for having the sake of “an experience,” using them to tell a story, using them to make my life more interesting? I considered the idea that I was no better than the Christians, because we both had motives, because we were both doing it for selfish reasons.

Well, fuck that. The Christians have the balls that I don’t have, that may be true, but their focus is too narrow, they don’t know what they’re missing. The experiences they could be having, the people they could be meeting…I can’t even imagine. But their mission is black and white, there’s no exploration, no discovery. To them, you’re somebody who comes to church, or somebody who doesn’t.

I won’t.

A dominant man (DomMan) is forcing an unwilling man (PussyBoy) to his knees.  ”Suck my cock, boy!” DomMan bellows.  PussyBoy whines and thrashes about but falls to his knees just the same.  ”No, no, I won’t do it!” he says.  DomMan takes out his hard dick.  He grabs PussyBoy by the back of the head and shoves PussyBoy’s face into it.  PussyBoy dodges the cock, struggles against DomMan’s hand.  PussyBoy clenches his mouth and grits his teeth but DomMan is unrelenting.  And then, as if by magic, PussyBoy opens up to the idea.  He parts his lips, takes in DomMan’s cock.  And as PussyBoy bobs his head all the conflict, all the struggle exhibited previously falls away into the ether, a remnant of some hack porn writer/director’s tepid imagination…

Written Edition:

Dorm Lust
By Marty McAmateur

Martin arrived at college.  His new dorm mate, Studly McBuff, was so hot!  But…he was straight.  Martin lusted after Studly, until one day he came back to his room and caught Studly jerking off…to gay porn!  ”I’m so ashamed!” Studly cried.  ”It’s okay,” Martin replied.  ”I’m gay too…and…and…I’m in love with you.”  ”Oh, I’m in love with you too!” Studly decreed.  And they lived happily…well, you get the idea.

Saved from perfection only because of the gay porn playing off-camera (though I like that the presumably straight bud seems to get off on it).  That the cocksucker seems mentally impaired only adds to the mystery.

Via FreshHotness

Because I write porno fiction it should come as no surprise that, regarding porno movies, I value story and scene over anything else. I need believable characters – strong archetypes. I need creative dialogue – no matter how cheesy. Most of all, I need a hot situation, something I can sink my teeth into.

The perfect porno scene is a rare thing, but finding a truly great one can make hours of half-hearted wanking seem worthwhile. Without further ado, here are my all-time favorite porno scenes:

5) Big Guns (1987), d. William Higgins
Scene w/ Mike Henson, Mike Ryan, and Jeff Boote

Three straight dudes get a hotel room, strip down to their extremely brief white briefs, and get into the hot tub; all the while talking about bringing back “babes” to fuck and ribbing each other in a playful, natural way. They get out of the tub, where Boote finds a package of “Fundies” (which are these, not these) in Henson’s suitcase. Boote dares the others to try them on, and they do, which leads to some horseplay. “Be careful, you’ll rip my Fundies, my girlfriend’ll get pissed.” “Fuck your girlfriend!” They wrestle around on the bed until their cocks get hard. The sex progresses in a natural, unforced way, and soon they’re all fucking and sucking each other. All three of the guys are pretty hot, and the way the scene becomes sexual free-for-all (all three guys bottom) is part of what makes it so great.

4) Men of the Midway (1983), d. Roger Earl
Opening scene w/Paul Barresi and Chris Burns

Daddy’s home! Paul Barresi, at the peak of his studly, raunchy daddy appeal (pics above are in lieu of actual screencaps, since I only have this on video (UPDATE: View a good portion of the scene over at BJ Land)), decides that his boy (Burns) needs to get off his lazy ass and start pulling his weight. How? He’s going to sell his ass, of course. And whaddya know, this is the same thing dad did to mom, “except that bitch got too old.” Barresi opens up a big bag of dildos and proceeds to indoctrinate his son into the world of anal sex. “Just relax. Daddy’s gonna show you how good it feels.” Other great lines: “You’re enjoying the shit out of this, aren’t ya? Now this one’ll make you a ‘real man’.” Barresi teaches his boy the art of sucking cock (“Bet you’ve thought about this a lot, haven’t ya?”), and all the ungrateful brat can do is whine and complain. A lot of the scene’s success is due to how hot Barresi looks and how willing he is to throw himself into it. I challenge you to show me a better father/son incest scene (oh, please do! I love this shit and want more!).

3) Lucas Encounters 1: The Heat of the Moment (2006)
Dorm Room Education scene with Blu Kennedy and Danny Bitho, d. Tony DiMarco

This is the rare instance of a porn scene that gets just about everything right. It’s a thing of beauty, really, right down to the muted, realistic lighting and ambient noise. The story is a pure, unadulterated dorm-room fantasy: Kennedy catches Bitho jerking off, and one thing leads to another. The thing is, you really believe that both of these guys are college students and dorm roommates – Kennedy is the nerdy homo on the verge of coming out, Bitho the sexually liberated horn dog who rocks Kennedy’s world. The dialogue is pitch-perfect (“You ever touched a dick before? You want to?”), and the guys really seem to enjoy having sex with each other. Bonus points for Bitho eating his own come (in fact Danny Bitho really does deserve a special mention for an overall excellent performance). I’ve watched other Lucas movies but nothing came close to the heat of this scene. Maybe sometimes the stars just align, the angels sing, and hot porn such as this is born.

2) Hot Times in Little Havana (1998), d. Kristen Bjorn
Coast Guard scene with Julio Duran, Buddy Jones, and Bruno Diaz

I don’t even know what to say about this scene; I’ve probably beat off to it about a million times. Julio Duran escapes Cuba and is found floating in his cut-off jean shorts by two Coast Guard studs played by Jones and Diaz. The hottest element of this scene, though, is the interplay between the Captain (Diaz) and his subordinate (Jones). They chain Duran up, strip him and search him – then, for some reason, the Captain thinks it’s a good idea that Jones “take out his dick and show our Cuban friend how we treat a dick;” to which Jones, getting blown by his superior, responds, “Yes, SIR.” As is Bjorn’s trademark, there’s plenty of beautiful uncut cocks and multiple, hands-free cum shots, but as far as I’m concerned, this scene is all Bruno Diaz; the subtle power play between captain/subordinate/captive is intense and highly erotic.

1) California Kings (1997), d. John Rutherford
Scene with Mike Branson and Tom Chase

Why is this my number one porn scene? This is a movie with a plot centered on mattresses, for chrissake. The set-up to the scene in question is serviceable at best, and though Branson and Chase trade a lot of creative, seemingly improvised dialogue; they are quite clearly “role playing” and never losing themselves in the scene. And yet, these guys are consummate porn actors, completely comfortable in front of the camera, and there’s a level of intensity between them that’s unmatched. They are really getting off on each other and on the roles that they are assuming. Both of them are considered tops, and the scene is based around this, with Branson coming on strong to his buddy and Chase continually claiming that he’s “never done this before,” yet unable to stop himself once he sees his best friend’s huge dick. There’s so much great dialogue in this scene I couldn’t begin to quote it all.
Branson: “You know what I really like? Your ass.”
Chase: “Get out of here, buddy, we’ve been friends for a long time! We don’t do that stuff!”
Branson: “It’ll be alright, I’ll just put the tip in.”
Chase: “Oh man, I can’t believe we’re doin this.”
Because this is a Falcon movie, the guys look like Ken dolls – you can barely tell where Chase’s asshole is, because it’s all so tanned and smooth and plastic-looking. The scene has a forward momentum that doesn’t let up (though the money shot is curiously lacking). I hope these guys got together off camera. They seem like they’d be a good match.

So there you have it. Do you get where I’m coming from? Do you pick up what I’m layin down? The main purpose of this blog is to, hopefully, solicit some comments from my readers. I love a good porn scene like little else, but finding the truly great ones is next to impossible without relying on personal recommendations. So lemme hear em!

Married, home alone

Straight guy loses a cum contest

Just a reminder that the movie I co-wrote with legendary director Joe Gage, Dad Takes a Fishing Trip, is ready and available for all your self-abuse needs. I wrote the first two sex scenes: one where three guys in a motel room get into it (actually based on portions of this chapter of my story 428 College St), and another where a young punk gets worked over by his supervisor. I think the latter scene came out the best, mainly because the actors really hammed it up.

Here’s what Handjobs Magazine had to say.

Order the movie here.