A dead night at a restaurant turns into an all-u-can-eat ass buffet.

The briefs were stretched taut to accommodate the loaves of his butt, protruding like a shelf from his arched back. This was nothing like that manipulative box photo, so eager to turn you on but not wanting to offend. This was the real deal.

“Your sister’s asleep,” he said, and took a gulp of beer. I looked down at the bulge in his drawers. It was conspicuously fat.

Seduced by his best friend’s dad.

“So, Nate, you play any sports?” he said, taking my arm and turning it over. I looked down into his lap — I could still see through those fucking pants, and his bulge was clearly visible, full of promise, packed into those tight bikinis.