“I’m taking you into the bedroom,” he said in my ear. “I’m gonna strip you down, lick every inch of you, and make you cum like you never have before.”

“Hey Dad,” I said. “How horny are you, like, on a scale of one to ten?” Dad smirked.

“Why’s that?”

“This is gonna sound nuts…”

Two businessmen ride out the financial crisis by riding each other’s cocks.

“If we could do it with each other, that’d be so fucking perfect.”

“Huh?” I said. The comment took me completely off guard. “Make out with each other?”

“Yeah,” Mark said. “Like if one of us was a girl. We could have sex, like, whenever we wanted.”

“You wanna try it?”

“I guess so. How?”

“It’s really fun. We have to take our clothes off first though.”

A story about Stifler from American Pie.

“It’s not like we only do it when we’re drunk anymore. It’s all the time, and I’m sick of pretending like it isn’t.”

“Does Trish suck your cock?” I said.
“Sometimes,” Joey said.
“Does she suck it as good as me?”

Just after the final bell rang and we’d all scuttled into our seats Mr. Christianson shut and locked the classroom door. That was strange.

Two buddies carry out an unscientific test of anal abilities.